There are times when I feel so uncomfortable in my body. This often happens after I have spent much time in the country and then am suddenly back in the city. I miss the generous energy of the trees soothing my entire being; I miss the sound of the trees swaying and the leaves speaking to me with the wind; I miss hearing the water talk and her coolness enveloping my entire body when I swim in her embracing curves.
This morning was one such walk in the city where the harshness of the concrete, the noise of squeaking and aggressive buses and cars forcefully driving past me in a rush felt so stripping. The separateness of people I sometimes feel even though I am surrounded by them is unpleasant, actually makes me feel kind of sick. Sometimes I just want to hug them, to look at them deep and say 'hey, what's your Soul going through right now, and how is that espresso anyway?' as I stand in line, quietly beside them. Waiting.
Today after said espresso, I continued on my walk and felt this dis-ease in my body as I waited for the traffic light to change. I asked myself "what do you need right now?" and my Inner Voice said "Walk Holy."
So I embodied Holy; I saw myself on a pilgrimage as though I was walking amidst the Buddha's perhaps, like I was in some Holy Land, because indeed I am but the sleep in my eyes sometimes prevents me from Seeing. A blanket of peace rolled over me and my walk grounded. I was somehow more in myself and less hovering outside my body, trying to find a way out of the concrete disconnect. Lo and behold as I took just a few more steps my eyes, now wide open, came across a little sparrow, dead lying on the concrete. He had flown into the grocery store window and died just like that.
After saying a prayer to the Bird, I went into the grocery store and found the man who works there who had helped me to find an ingredient I was looking for about a week before. There was something about him I noticed that day-- he really Cared. So I found him again and I told him about the Bird and he said that he knew about it already and I asked him if the store could get some kind of decal and place it up on the window so that the birds knew not to fly there. And he understood and said that his parents had done that for the birds in England and that it works and I felt like he took it to Heart and will do something about it.
I then felt connected to others, to the plants and the birds because I feel like they know when a person is there for them, like they can hear it in your walk and in your vibration. And so this is why, partly, I do stop and smell the Roses (which I did this morning before my espresso) and ask the Lavender plants (yes, also before the espresso) if I may pick a bud or a leaf off their stem to hold and rub in my hands and smell and feel like the Earth is Enlightening me and Healing me if we would accept the Invitation to participate and act in ways that support Her and thus Ourselves.
And so today I continue on my Holy Walk, knowing that although it feels so Vulnerable and Full to connect to this Earth and All Her Inhabitants, I am Strong enough to do it. I am Soft enough to Listen. Raw as it may feel, this is what makes me Whole & Holy, a Human Being.